Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day Thirteen: Round and round we go

Woof. Libby gave me what for, yesterday, when she got home from work. Smacked me about for abandoning my post again. I didn’t know you could use a baby-filled belly as a weapon. And when I questioned whether that would be safe for our kid, she switched to hitting me with a picture from our wall! Shoulda stuck with the belly.

Sigh. Marriage.

Today was good, though, ‘cause I saw my little friend again! Only, uh, this time we didn’t get to talk so much. I was too busy trying to keep him from killing himself.

My mannequin got carried off by a giant eagle overnight, so I had to stick to my post on the barbican and try to think up some new way to slack. I spent most of the time sleeping, ‘cause Libby’s snoring a lot lately and I don’t get much downtime. She hits me in her sleep if I try to make her roll over. My life is pain, diary.

Anyway, I was snoozing away, almost falling off the barbican, when the kid pelted me in the butt with a rock! I woke up right away and tried to chase him, ‘cause, y’know, you don’t do that to a sleeping guy, but then he jumped on the battlements!

Castle Roflcopter isn’t an old castle, but it’s always getting attacked by one thing or another. It’s seen better days. Those battlements are crumbly, and I didn't want anyone who wasn't trying to shoot my nose off with an arrow get hurt. I chased the kid around the barbican maybe a dozen times, trying to tackle him, but he just wouldn’t come down! There were pebbles flying everywhere whenever he stomped his feet! It was horrible, diary, absolutely horrible.

Eventually he stopped running and I went in for the kill (not really, diary). Unfortunately I managed to smash right through one of the battlements, and I nearly fell into the moat. Barely managed to stay on the strip of green between the walls and the water. My boot actually did get wet, and I felt some piranhas nibbling at the rat leather. I hate getting eaten.

By the time I looked up the kid was gone again, though I did hear him laughing as he ran off. I guess he managed to dodge out of the way at the last second. Spry little bugger, that boy.

Actually, I guess my day was pretty shitty. Huh.

Not looking forward to being a father all of a sudden,

Dragomir the Guard

1 comment:

  1. Why Dragomir does not run out of Libby????