Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Day Twelve: Youth saves the day

I met someone new today, diary! Thank god I did, too, ‘cause otherwise I’d probably be in deep shit right now!

I was away from my post again, watching one of the blacksmiths forge what looked like a cast iron dildo, when somebody poked me in the back of the head. I nearly peed myself, thinking it was Captain Cedric, though when I turned around all I saw was a kid. He couldn’t have been older than nine or ten.

“Huh?” I stumbled to my feet. I’d been hiding behind a barrel. Nothing but the best for Dragomir. “Hey, you’re not the captain. Don't scare me like that if you're not the captain. Who’re you?”

“That’s not important,” the kid said. “Aren’t you a guard? Shouldn’t you have a spear or something?”

“No.” I showed him my hands. “I can’t pick up weapons. Or shields. I can’t figure out why. Can you?”

He looked at my hands for a minute and shook his head. “No. I guess you’re just broken.” Which was a mean thing to say, but he’s probably right. I’m kind of a crappy guard. “Can you pick up other stuff?”

I nodded and was about to reply when somebody else tapped me on the back, and this time it WAS the captain. I peed, but only a little bit. He’s a scary guy, Captain Cedric, a big, towering, hairy brute, and he’s always kicking my ass. I've never seen his eyebrows point anywhere but down toward his nose, and that, diary, is a mean expression indeed.

But then the craziest thing happened! As soon as he saw the kid, the captain went pale, apologized for disturbing us, and ran off! Who would’ve guessed, diary? Kids are good for something after all! I can’t wait to have one of my own! I’ll take it with me on patrol every day. Then I can do whatever I want.

I turned to thank the boy, but he’d already jumped off the wall and run into the western bailey. Fast little bugger. When I stood to look for him, Libby saw me and shouted a bunch of swear words, and I had to go back to the barbican. My back is filled with splinters ‘cause she beat me with a log.

Still. It’s nice to see someone new every now and then, and I hope I can turn that kid into a friend. It’d be good to have him around to scare the captain whenever I wanna goof off.


Dragomir the Guard


  1. Poor Dragomir!!!, He suffers Domestic Violence!!!!

  2. Man the Domestic abuse keeps piling up. Not cool, debby :(