Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Day Thirty-Seven: Goblinygook

Diary. You won’t believe what happened. I mean, I know I bring a lot of unbelievable stuff to you, but this is really unbelievable. Like, GOOD unbelievable.

I know! I thought it was crazy too! Something good happens to me? Dragomir the Forever Cursed Non-Daddy? What an idea. But it's true!

Okay, so maybe you won’t think it’s that great. But you need to understand my position. Without this posting I’d be stuck in one spot all day, probably near Eve’s stupid banner, staring up at my baby and wishing I could be a father. I was just starting to get the hang of it, so really it isn’t fair that they should turn her into some psycho knight thing

Sorry. Um. I guess I’m still hung up on this. King Jeffrey had a parade for Eve today. I’m a bit touchy. Can you blame me? It’s really annoying that they’d steal my damn baby away from me, and for no good

Sorry! Gah. I’m ranting. The good thing! Focus on the good thing. I get to lead a tour!

I already did a bit of touring last week, I guess, with Eve. Showing her around the bailies and such. Now, though, I get to take an actual goblin ambassador with me on a tour! Several tours! He wants to see the whole damn castle! I’m excited, diary, you have no idea.

Me getting the position was actually rather touching. Y’see, Captain Cedric got handed the duty of pickin’ one of his guards to take the little goblin around and show him how things work in the castle. Cedric said that there’s nobody better suited to the job than me! I know more about everything than anyone else, because I spend so much time slacking! I’m better off as a tour guide than an actual guard! Isn’t that great!

Yes, I know it was an insult. I'm not that dense. And Cedric did hit me while he was telling me the good news. I think he figured it was a punishment. I don’t see it that way, though - I'm pretty sure this is awesome.

Off I go, diary. I’m meeting the goblin later today, when he arrives. He think he’s gonna be the official goblin liaison to the castle, so it’s really important that I give him a good first impression. Hopefully the fact that my daughter killed scores of his people in one of the bloodiest battles this castle’s ever seen won’t turn him all biased against me.


Dragomir the Guard

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