Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Day Twenty-Seven: Bathroom doodie

A lot of people around the castle seem to be getting sick, diary. I’m not sure why. I guess a bug sneaked in with the last shipment of yak meat or something. I’m fine, so what do I care?

And my baby is fine! Eve’s a gem. She’s so fun. And, like I said, quiet. She barely bothers anyone while she’s sitting in her little bassinet, and everybody passing by my post comments on how she’s a little angel. I wish I didn’t have to guard the toilets, of course, but Eve doesn’t seem to mind the smell.

(Libby insisted on going back to work right away, so I have to take the bassinet wherever I go. She doesn’t pay that much attention to Eve. Hell, she almost seems to resent her daughter. She’s REALLY a douche like that... though judging by how weird Libby was acting during the pregnancy, I guess Eve was a tough customer in the womb.)

Robert the Cook and the Brother keeps bringing bottles of milk to feed Eve while I’m stuck at my posts. He loves her, too. I have to admit, my brother can be a bit of a bastard, but he’s great with Eve - why, she doesn’t cry at all when he picks her up. She just stares at him, the same way she stares at everything.

“Weird kid,” he usually says, then laughs when he tries to put her down and she won’t let go. Clings right to his jacket. It’s really funny when he, ah, can’t pry her off. She just... clings.

And stares.

Okay, so it’s a little creepy. But that’s fine! I’m sure all newborns are like this. Bet if I asked my parents they'd say I was a frightening little bastard. Give her some time and she’ll settle in.

I know the toilets aren’t that important, even if people are constantly fighting over who gets to go in next (over a hundred people have to use a handful of toilets, y’know), so I’m gonna sneak off a lot this week and show Eve around the castle. She needs to get to know her new home, and I think she’s spent enough time in the residential quarters to know where she can go to the bathroom. Though in her case I guess the toilet is her diaper.

(Kinda makes me envious. She can go ANYWHERE. Babies are luckier than they know.)

Gotta go, diary. My baby’s calling. Ahh, I feel so much better now that she’s out of her mom and I’m taking care of her!

Still beaming,

Dragomir the Guard

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