Monday, October 3, 2011

Day Forty-Six: Treehugger

That’s the first weekend I’ve spent in a tree, diary. It wasn’t much different than other weekends – just a brief period of comfortable blackness – but the fact that I woke up surrounded by zombies didn’t exactly make my day.

You may not know much about zombies, diary, so I’ll tell you what I’ve heard. Zombies are the roaming legions of the undead. They scour the world seasonally, moving from place to place on a predictable schedule. A couple months ago they were outside my hometown. Right now they’re in my neck of the woods. Aren’t I lucky?

Zombies are gross. For example, the guy who’s staring at me while I write has half a face. The rest of his body is falling apart. He can’t climb the tree because he’s so wretched, thank god. If I had armour on I could probably wade through the crowd of zombies without much trouble. Just push ‘em aside. Their limbs are pretty dang feeble.

But, er, I don’t have my armour on. You think I could climb this tree in royal guard armour? Not likely. It’s somewhere in the camp, surrounded by zombies. Philip’s down there somewhere, too, only the zombies don’t care about him. He’s already a ghost. He's good at annoying them by sprinkling tree ash on their heads, but that's all.

Could I go down and get the rest of my stuff? No. Why? Zombies eat people. Then I become a zombie. I think that's how it works. If not then I become a ghost, and that ain't much better.

All I have up here is my pack. I managed to grab all the food and hoist it onto my back before I came up. So at least I can survive for a while, and hopefully the zombies will go away while I wait. Not likely – they’re supposed to be more stubborn than rocks, and can wait forever – but I can hope, diary.

This reminds me of the time I got stuck in a tree back home. Only there wasn’t the threat of having my skin ripped from my body if I came down. I guess that makes for a fairly large difference, diary.

Sigh. What’s an adventurer supposed to do? I don’t know if I should be terrified or bored. Maybe both?

I need to pee,

Dragomir the Adventurer

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