Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day One Hundred-Nineteen: Ice queen


Saw Grylock in the hall today, diary. He's in such a good mood. Told me in secret that he loves everything that's happening, and that King Gok, back in Goblinoster, feels the same. Dunno how Gok knows about all this so quickly, but the ambassador must have his ways.

Stupid Grylock. This is all his fault. If he hadn't wanted revenge none of this woulda happened. Stupid, STUPID Grylock. Was it that important to make the king bald? REALLY? STUPID GRYLOCK!

Logan's still on the loose, needless to say. The guards don't have a hope of catching him, and Eve… well, I think this is the first time Eve's ever actually been stymied by someone. She's beaten the crap out of trained soldiers, armies of goblins, mammoths… there are rumours she killed a sloth a while ago, and lemme tell you, those things are DANGEROUS… but she can't catch her fianc√©. He's too fast. And that's frustrated her into giving up. She's back to slaughtering livestock and otherwise ignoring everybody in the castle, including the king - and he wasn't happy to hear THAT, lemme tell you.

(At least he was smart enough not to press the issue. I'm afraid Eve would run berserk if anybody tried to make her do anything. Goodbye Castle StateofPanic.)

Logan managed to rig up an intricate system of buckets above the king's throne room today, and when the king was in the middle of giving an angry speech about wanting the terrorist stopped, Logan released about two tons of livestock dung onto the heads of the assembled nobles and royal guards. I didn't see it happen, diary, but I saw the throne room, and it is NOT a pretty sight. I can't imagine the king will be holding any meetings in there for a while.

That was enough for me, diary, to finally get around to talking to the queen. It was kinda my responsibility, after all: Grylock won't stop the carnage, and Logan, well… he wrote 'CHEATER' in giant letters on the front of the castle this morning. So… he has some issues.

But that meant admitting to the queen what I'd done. And, gods be my witnesses, that was SCARY. The queen knew somebody was running amok in the castle, but she didn't know the extent of the damage - and she didn't know it was her son, obviously - and she didn't know WHY. I stammered a thousand times, getting' the story out, and by the end I'm sure I looked like a trouble-dodging scumbag, 'cause I insisted OVER and OVER that I wasn't at all responsible, which is a sure sign of guilt.

But the queen didn't focus on me. When I got done talking she just stared at the castle, pushing the rim of her little shelter up to get a good look, and her eyes went cold. She's normally such a warm person, so this chilled me to the bits, diary, lemme tell you.

She dismissed me after that, with only one order: "Bring me my son."

I know you read this diary, Logan. I keep finding it in sliiiiightly different places when I go to write every day. So listen up, kid: GO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER. I'm afraid she might collapse my face if you refuse.

Sincerely,

Dragomir the Messenger

4 comments:

  1. Also today: a bigass (for Dragomir) poster-in-the-works of the collected cast. (Important cast.) Have a look: http://birdisabsurd.blogspot.com/2012/01/drago-poster.html

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    1. Also, if you want weird names, just get random letters and try to pronounce them. Ex. bbtrfyt = bebtrafeyt = Batra Feyt.

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  2. I feel almost sorry for the King if the Queen ever manages to escape that tree...they'll be scraping him off the ceiling for weeks!

    (Word: 'blummot' "The king really is a blummot of a fool!")

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  3. You know, for all the planning I've done for the story, I still haven't decided if the queen will ever get off the tree or not. I'd like to include her more often, but... there's a certain charm to a character half-embedded in nature...

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