Monday, January 16, 2012

Day One-Twenty-One: De moat, boss, de moat

Yep! The war is over.

The castle's completely back to normal, aside from a few dedicated patrols still on the lookout for the troublemaker. (King Jeffrey found the butt on his head. He's not pleased.) Logan swiftly undid all his traps, and he's appearing in public again, The Baron following on his heels as best he can. Thank the gods THAT'S done.

Although… unfortunately… this has taught the king a lesson. Not the kind I would have liked. He thinks the castle needs more protection, and the guards are supposed to do that. He figures we're all failures, and now we need to make up for it by enacting certain… 'measures'.

And because Captain Cedric haaaaaaates me - and lemme tell ya, buddy, I'm feeling the same way about YOU - I've been given the worst job of 'em all: since the Neck is inoperable and the moat is frozen again, I need to surround the castle. With spikes. Ice spikes.


Why spikes? I dunno. I don't see the point in spikes. (Badum-chssh.) The king wants them ringing the moat on all sides. I guess that way, if an intruder… slips, or something… they'll fall on the spikes and die. Which means if I slip while I'm MAKING the spikes, I'll also die.

Double sigh.

Of course there isn't room in the budget to buy spikes, and that would look odd to the king, so I get to go out and chip them out of the moat. That seems REALLY dangerous, diary, and it's gonna take forever, but… orders… and after what happened with Logan and Grylock I don't wanna argue too much, 'cause I can't draw attention to myself.

Let's not talk about that anymore. Man, diary, you could get my head chopped off. Good thing I like you so much.

At least my birthday's on the horizon. It's coming up in February, and that's always worth a thumbs up. Did you know that, diary? Yep, I'm a winter kid. Apparently Robert's got some new dish planned for the occasion. I can't wait. He's an awesome cook. Though I bet I'll have to help him fetch the ingredients… always happens…

I'm off to make some spikes. Hopefully I'll GET to my birthday.


Dragomir the Guard


  1. Hmmm, prolly gonna have to make him a special birthday Rat Cake, or a new...hat?...I dunno what poor guards would get...

  2. I think Dragomir will keep his old cap until the day he dies. (Possible foreshadowing? Dun dun dunnnn)

  3. Yep, 400000 updates from now he'll be wearing his hat when he finally dies of old age...OOPS did I say that aloud...DANG SPOILER ALERTS!

    1. Assuming most of those updates are separate days, my math estimates that Dragomir will be living for roughly 1,100 years in your ending.

      ... I am NOT doing this story for that long. I will DIE of old age LONG BEFORE then.

    2. Also, it took me QUITE some time (Day later) to notice that the name of the Diary entry was a reference to Fantasy Island!