Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Day One-Twenty-Seven: Persuasive punching

This is Libby again. Hello, diary.

I asked Robert the Librarian if he wrote my full name in you yesterday. He promised he didn't. But then he showed me my name from what he wrote, and it looked a lot longer than Libby. So I punched him in the stomach. His face is green now. I didn't punch hard so he shouldn't complain or anything.

Dragomir is still asleep. I keep changing him and feeding him and putting diapers on him, but he won't wake up. I tried to bring our daughter down to see him, like I said, but she ignored me. When I tried to punch her, she flipped me into a fruit cart. She is a bitch and I do not like her.

I went to work again today. Teddy, one of the workers who brings me wood when I'm too busy to get it myself, was late bringing me today's shipment. I punched him. When he was down on the ground, he grabbed my butt. I kicked him. I think he may also be in a coma, but I will not change his diapers.

Who will bring me wood to make all the tracks ordered by the castle? I do not know. I should punch somebody until they agree to bring me wood. Punching usually makes people do whatever you want.

Dragomir never did what I wanted when I punched him. Except when I was pregnant. Then he brought me pickles.

Libby started crying, so I'll take over from here. I've sent her away to tend to her comatose husband. Poor thing. She's so strong most of the time… I suppose Dragomir means a great deal more to her than she lets on. I'm glad she insisted on filling these days in his diary - it will lift his spirits when he wakes up and finds these notes from the people who love him.

Though Libby really should work on her temper. Make a note of that, Dragomir - one of these days she's going to punch the wrong person. At least we know where the Lord Knight got her spunk!


Robert the Librarian


  1. I'm torn. On the one hand it's a bit strange to hear Libby's vague thoughts, as she tries to organize them and think about them... but on the other hand, oh my goodness, you can almost watch her depth increasing by the day.

    I can see her and Eve teaming up in some kind of loathing based Starsky and Hutch duo, hunting down the mysterious bomber...

    But Eve can't be understood and Libby can't handle her emotions well, so they never get anywhere.

    (Levil: It's not 'L'evil', it's just Levil. It's not french. I am not evil. Mostly.)

  2. Awh, family bonding through a coma and near death experience that will be recorded in a Diary...sounds a tad bit better when you exclude the whole Coma, and Near Death parts...

    (Word: 'compshi' "My PC got the blue screen of death...this COMPSHI...*Error*...")

  3. I'm really enjoying Libby. Originally she was just a bit player; she's since turned into quite a major character. I should know, too, since I just spent the last five hours planning the strip for the next seven months. She pops up a lot. (Hackers, if you want to read ahead, the full synopsis is on my computer. Just kidding, though, please don't hack my stuff. That's bad.)

    Also, poll. I figured one or two people would jump on why Dragomir can't hold a weapon, but eight? Every one of you? Damn. That's the one that'll remain secret the longest.

  4. I suppose I'll drop the obligatory 'YOU TEASE' here. Or should I be shaking my fist at the heavens?

    What's the point of these polls if they don't do anything?

    (Cystine!: My dermatologist is considering building a miniature replica of a famous building out of Non-cancerous growths he's removed. It's gonna be a Cystine chapel.)

  5. They're purely for my amusement. And information, as they give me a rough estimate of how many of my readers are so into the story that they'll take a poll. What, you think I'll change the flow of the plot based on poll results? Pshaw! I laugh at your attempt to wriggle spoilers out of me, sir and or madame. (That'll be the next poll, speaking of which - I want a rough estimate of the gender split.)

  6. Probably going to be roughly 90% males, since men are 90% more likely to answer a poll (Due to our limited attention spans and attra..CLICKY THINGS!). Though a fun fact for those who don't know their mathematics very well, 47% of statistics are made-up on the spot...just let that sink in for a moment...gotta be on the ball if you wanna catch it...it's wordplay...(Just kidding around, nobody here is really slow enough to not catch my subtle insulting jokes).

    (Word: 'inyli' "Managed to pull off a triple word score in scrabble, I just had to use the Noun 'Inyli'. Ya know! Inyli! One of the most common words in the English language!")

    1. Statistics are like a bikini: they reveal a lot, but what they don't show is usually more interesting...