Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day One-Fifty-Two: Tagalong


He won't leave me alone.

I don't know why, but my father kept 'running into' me at work today. Every time I took up a new post somewhere, he wasn’t far behind, and whenever he appeared he had some new insult to add to the pile:

"Guardin' a wall, eh? Damn fine work, I'd say, boy, damn fine work. That an important wall? Doesn't look too important. I might even say this is the dumbest lookin' wall in the castle. Lookit all those cracks. Not well-kept - probably is they want it to collapse on you, eh?"

"You still worshippin' those damned weekend gods, Dragomir? Goddammit, why? What's the point? Stupid religion, don't even know who they are. Gotta be more like me - I know MY god, my one and only god, and I can curse 'im nice and proper whenever I like. 'Gods be damned' sounds retarded. Goddamned has a proper ring to it, y'hear?"

"That wife of yours is a fine piece o' meat, Dragomir. Onea the only things you've done right, boy. Shame she's stuck with a sucker like you. I can take her off yer hands, if you want… might be the only way you'll ever pay me back for sirin' your sorry arse in the first place, yeah? Whaddya say?"

"You have an ugly face and yer a disgrace to the family. Still got that birthmark on your bum? Yeah, that's stupid too."

I've NEVER had a birthmark on my bum! Gods be damned, dad, I HATE you! Die in a fire!

It gets worse, too. When I was set up outside the Beefiary for a spell, I had the displeasure of running into my father again - and Captain Cedric. Simultaneously. The captain has always been like an Oswald clone in my life, so this… not good…

It started out okay, I guess. "Humph. Dragomir. Good job t'other day. 'n thanks for the meal."

"Why, what'd he do? 'm his father, by the way. Oswald. Sure sight better to talk to than 'im."

"He guarded some rocks for me. I'm the captain. Pleasure."

"My son useless, or what?"

"Yeah, mostly. Sack of dung."

"Sounds like 'im. Woulda thought he might have a job like yours by now, but I guess that was too much to ask, yeah?"

"Think it was. You've got quite the arm on you, Oswald - try me on a wrestling match?"

"You're on, cap'n. Nice to see a proper guard for a change, facial hair 'n all."

Then they both punched me in the stomach and went into the Beefiary to grab some chow. So much for bonding with the captain.

More happened, but I'm tired, diary. I volunteered for an overnight shift so I could sleep on the barbican. Maybe I'll wake up dead in the morning - and if not, only one more day, right?

One more day.

I have descended into Hell,

Dragomir the Son


  1. I spent eight or so hours going through the archives from start to finish. And this is officially one of my favorite things on the internet. And I hate everything. Bravo.

    1. I'm totally fine with mild contradiction. Thanks for reading!

  2. That would explain why he wants the captain to love him so badly. It is his repressed feeling of abandonment from his father. Sorry to read way too much into that. :)

    1. ... I never even considered that... huh. Insights are fun!