Monday, March 26, 2012

Day One-Seventy-One: Enlisted

I say this an awful lot, I know, but everything's more or less back to normal, diary. I mean, sure, the whole castle is wrecked to hell and back, but we're slowly restoring things to order - and that means doing jobs we're not necessarily MEANT to do in the service of cleanliness. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

I wanted to mull over two things, and first is the explanation of the whole incident. See, everybody who managed to escape the werewolves has buttoned up. They won't talk about what happened, and they seem to be scared of everybody who WAS a werewolf. So it's basically like half the castle had a big party last week, and they trashed the place, and they all got so drunk that they don't remember what happened, and it was so socially awkward that everybody who WASN'T invited isn't willing to discuss it now.

Which means I get no credit for saving the castle. Poo. I'm always freaking gypped out of credit. And there aren't even any gypsies around to do it!

The second issue is what Antonia said on Friday before she turned into a full werewolf. Remember, diary? "Vatch out for zat man? Ze prince'z tutor? I do not truzt him?" Yeah, that. It's troubling, more so than if ANYONE ELSE had said it.

I like The Baron. I RESPECT The Baron. He's been nice to me where every other noble has spat in my face. He kept me out of jail, he's given me money as apologies for the actions of other higher-ups and we've had a fair number of chats. Sure, he always calls me the 'worst guard in the castle', but I know he's just kidding. Or if he ISN'T, he doesn't hold it against me. I can appreciate a dude like that.

So why, then, should I heed the word of some orc woman I've met once? Or multiple times, if you count the kangaroo, which I don't because a) she's not really a kangaroo and b) she used to hit me a lot back then? Why listen to some woman I barely know, whose only trustworthy action… has been… saving the castle… and selflessly sacri…

Okay, she has pull. Still. She can't know THAT much about The Baron. She probably knocked the guy around a lot, too. I'm hoping to prove her wrong, diary, yes I am.

… but she got to see a lot of The Baron when she was a kangaroo…

Enough about all that. You're probably wondering what's going on today. Well, diary, I'll be happy to tell you: I've been drafted to work in the Beefiary. Why me? I don't know. I have an idea, but I don't know for certain.

I suspect that it's Robert's doing. Castle WhatTheHellHappened is in ruins, and everybody's having to help each other clean up. A slightly cheerier Captain Cedric informed me that I'm to work in the kitchens, starting tomorrow, 'cause most of Robert's assistants are helping with repairs elsewhere. Why they didn't just leave the assistants in the kitchen and tell ME to do the repairs, I dunno. Guess it's the whole can't-pick-up-a-weapon bias at work. (I can use a damn hammer, guys!)

Anyway. Tomorrow, I am a server and assistant cook. I already know it'll go badly, but it can't hurt to acquire another new skill, eh? Never had the chance to cook before.


Dragomir the Cook


  1. How quickly we forget that we don't deserve credit for fixing our own mistakes.

    1. One of these days he'll fix a problem he didn't help cause in the first place. Maybe.

  2. Wait a second...I had a strange idea...if Dragomir can use tools such as a hammer (and maybe a saw or ect.)...if he tried to strike someone or something (like a monster) with the hammer (or saw), would the tool just SUDDENLY drop out of his hand against his will? (Cause it'd TECHNICALLY become a weapon in that moment).

    Just some food for thought.

    1. Ha ha, that situation comes up a couple times in the next few weeks. As soon as he thinks of whatever's in his hand as a weapon, it flops out of his fingers.

      Thinking back I'm surprised it never came up before.

    2. I should probably stop posting details like this, but you guys occasionally guess right on upcoming stuff and I can't help but chime in and confirm to avoid being labelled as an idea thief. No more!

    3. Well so long as your story doesn't have a couple breakdancing sloths (who breakdance slooooowly of course) and a all-powerful wizard who can ONLY cast spells that change the smell of certain objects...then I think you're safe from being called a idea theif by myself.

  3. His gauntlets he got from the scavenged royal guard suit fell off as soon as thought of them as a weapon.