Friday, April 6, 2012

Day One-Eighty: Spy vs Guy

Well, it's Friday, diary, and you know what that usually means: the end of an occupation. Cook for a week, got canned. Guard to the queen for a week, got canned. Librarian for a week, got canned. Ambassadorial aide for a week, got canned, then sent out into the wilderness to search for a foulfungus cure. It's like my life is laid out in sets of five, you know? Kinda?

Well. Not today. Today, I was told that I would be keeping my role as spy into the next week, and in a sense I'd be getting a promotion. I would become Driscol the Count's personal bodyguard during this murderer thing that's going on.

As you might have gathered, Casimiro the Butcher hasn't been caught. Nobody's seen him since he attacked that noble the other night - but that doesn't mean he's not here, either. Probably just waiting for the chance to strike. And The Baron obviously feels the same, because he's allotted a royal guard to follow each of the more important nobles as they go about their business.

That didn't happen, however, until I came back from another day of listless, useless wandering. Had a hell of a time keeping up with Driscol, 'cause he kept disappearing and reappearing. Whenever I DID see him he seemed to be on official business all the time, organizing patrols and whatnot. He's efficient, if not terribly interesting.

I gotta admit, too, that this spy stuff has me feeling a little antsy. Not only am I intruding on this dude's private life, but I'm seeing that he's not doing anything wrong. Hell, he seems genuinely concerned for OTHER people, and not just himself… though, granted, he's only concerned for the nobles.

Not that commoners have anything to fear, I guess. I don't know much about this Casimiro, but his reputation DOES SUGGEST that he only attacks nobles. One must've hit him a few too many times or somethin'.

I kept my concerns about spying to myself, and when I reported back to The Baron in the evening he seemed frustrated by my lack of progress. He didn't blame me, of course, but he really wanted to know what Driscol was up to, and I couldn't give him squat.

That's when he put out the order to have a royal guard appointed to the higher-ranking nobles. All of the bigwigs came out for a big discussion in the throne room, and everybody was squabbling over who should get a personal guard, and eventually the king told them all to bugger off 'cause he was tired and wanted to go to bed. He always has guards, so why should he care?

Either way, yeah, I am Driscol's bodyguard next week. Gonna keep a close eye on him, keep my mouth shut like The Baron warned me (my voice will probably give me away, giant bucket helmet to hide my face or no), and see what he does. Driscol was surprisingly on board with the whole bodyguard thing, so I guess I won't get any grief?

Gah. These days are so confusing. I'm not into this political intrigue stuff, diary, I really ain't. I thought spying would be fun, but trying to keep track of what everyone's doing gets on my nerves. I say again: remind me never to become a politician.

Maybe I should just ask The Baron to put his rats on the job instead. I mean, if he IS talking to them, then maybe he can have them spy for him? But what if they already ARE and he STILL needs me? And do I want him knowing that I know that HE knows that rats are intelligent, and good for more than food and clothing and stuff?

Life is complex.

Oh yeah, one other thing: Libby keeps coming home late. I dunno what she's up to, and she hits me if I ask, so I'm not sure if I should feel suspicious or not. It's not good to distrust your own wife, y'know? And it's not like her to sneak around behind my back…

Assuming she is sneaking…

Which she probably isn't, but how should I know?


Dragomir the SpyRoyalGuardHusbandDude


  1. Well...hmmm...Libby acting suspicious...and a killer on the loose...hmmm...that could...only...mean...SHE MUST BE HUNTING THE CRIMINAL! She is the fabled Wombat-Woman, the mysterious masked hero who has been rumored to be fighting crime in the kingdom! There's no other reason she could possibly be sneaking around late in the day...