Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Day Two-Twenty-Eight: Outclassed at last

My daughter is apparently NOT the all-dominating warrior I thought she was. That, while we're under siege, is a VERY scary prospect - though it does explain why Driscol the Count hired mercenaries.

Eve is still alive. I know that. I never had any doubt that she would live through this assault. Thing is, she's not managed to brazenly murder the enemy army like she did with the goblins. As far as we can tell, she's been hitting the enemy ranks with hit-and-run attacks from the hills. She rushes in, takes out a few siege weapons or soldiers, and vanishes again.

Her reasoning is pretty sound, from what I hear. The Baron said it best yesterday: mercenaries are much better fighters than plain ol' soldiers. They've got a lot more experience than dudes who lounge around doing nothing in a castle all day, and they know a some mean tricks for destroying their opponents. A handful of 'em are actually strong enough to take on Eve and survive the encounter.

And… drive her off. Frightening.

The siege continues, needless to say. The enemy trebuchets have pulled waaaaay back, and every time one gets loaded up it hurls its payload towards the keep. A couple have hit, though none have caused any lasting damage. The smaller catapults are actually worse, 'cause they're tearing down the outer walls. None of the mercs have tried to go through the holes, but our luck on that front won't last forever.

The guys INSIDE the castle aren't faring as well as the ones outside. They're pinned down in their stupid west bailey, and from what I've heard they haven't moved a hell of a lot in the last six hours. Part of that is due to our soldiers keeping them down -

- but MOST of it is due to the reason I mentioned, but did not expand upon, yesterday: our OWN siege weapons. The walls of Castle UpYoursDriscol are now protected by harpoon-firing cannons. King Jeffrey wanted his castle to be able to one-up the Matriarch in firepower, and for once that proved to be a good idea, 'cause we've been using the harpoons to skewer any bastard who moves in the bailies. Been taking shifts watching over 'em.

(Yes, even me. The douches down behind the blockades have learned better than to move anymore. So, y'know, I can just stand there and look intimidating. I don't actually have to FIRE the harpoon. Thank the gods for that, 'cause I tried one time, and my body's reaction was pathetic. Finger slipped right off the trigger. BAH)

You're probably wondering, diary, why the bad guys aren't just trying to go through the secret entrance to get at us. Y'know, flank us on both sides, as all those military dudes would say. We've got a not-so-secret weapon guarding that entrance: the Matriarch. The queen's plugged the hole up tight, and she's refusing to move the Matriarch until the siege is over. I doubt ANYBODY will dare to come through while she's standing watch, bless her royal badassery.

The many defensive positions aside, everyone who's not a soldier or a prisoner of war has been drafted in some way. The cooks are rushing around, delivering meals; the blacksmiths and tanners are making armour and weapons (and I gotta say, they're of EXCEPTIONAL quality - makes me think the hole is paying off); the peasants (including Libby, who's more or less their leader) are repairing the walls and their homes at record speed; the nobles are… doing… nobley stuff; hell, even Barrel's helping out by keeping watch with me.

Poor Barrel. I can tell he's still hurting from that run-in with Eve. He seems rather sluggish. Wonder how much damage he could do if he transformed into a full dragon? Best I not point that out - King Jeffrey's kinda forgotten about his 'pet' Apocalyptor, and he might order a full-on attack if he sees Barrel flitting about.

Speaking of King Jeffrey… guess where he is? Yep, that's right: his tower. The fucking coward is hiding away in his tower, as if none of this is happening. Nobody beyond The Baron and his royal guards has seen Jeffrey since the siege began. What an asshole! What kind of leader leads from the rear? Boooooooooo!


Ugh. I hate nobles. Aside from The Baron, they're all such bastards, I swear.

Especially Driscol.

Gods, I hate Driscol so much.

Nobody knows where he is. The ringleader of this debacle vanished the night before the siege began, and he hasn't been seen since. Most people figure he slipped out and joined his army, well beyond the walls, but The Baron isn't convinced. He thinks Driscol might still be in here somewhere, secretly supplying his troops with intel. How he'd get it out I have no idea whatsoever, but there you go.


Man, if I could just hold a dagger for ONE SECOND, he'd be so dead.

Assuming he didn't beat the shit outta me first.

He IS pretty big.

Bah. I might volunteer to join the search parties looking for him anyway. I'd like to see his face ONE LAST TIME before he's flayed alive and tossed on The Neck. Then I could punch him.


The siege continues. Back to my post. I'll keep in touch, diary.

At least I'm not hiding this time - maybe because the guinea pig farms are blocked up so I can't hide,

Dragomir the Guard


  1. Advance warning, comment readers: tomorrow's entries will be wonky. Gonna be, oh, six small entries throughout the day? Culminating in a big one at the end? Prepare for a slew of updates.

  2. What if The Baron is secretly has both Driscol and Evangelina enthralled into his bidding, (such a spell could even be what is effecting Logan (Also, knowing Roberts' (the Cook) true passion and goals, could've enthralled him (via the AFK stories), planning his little rebellion so that he would have an excuse for killing the Rats)). Making THEM the visible enemies into doing stupid things that could let them be defeated. All in a cunning ruse to further assert his influence on The King and the castle by making him a hero. That seems the most likely scenario as far as a diabolical plot-twist/betrayal. Plus it would explain Antonia's distrust in The Baron. And in this scenario Driscol may be dead already and no one would realize it. As a matter of fact, it would probably be in the Barons best interest to make sure that no one knows Driscol is unshackled from his mortal coil. Because with the sudden disappearance of both Driscol and Evangelina there is still the perception of a threat; making The Baron the premier "go-to" guy for answers and planning and protection, giving him more control of the Castle. While The Rats, they may or may not have seen his betrayal coming and tried to parley with him, perhaps understanding that they could not stop him, only to become annihilated, so they could've made a deal with him: to let a few of their species escape, and live (this part of the theory is a bit more flaky than the rest and I'm a little tired with this wall of fucking text).

    1. I like to think that Driscol is just a douche, and that the Baron is a plump and friendly man with white hair...O...My...God...SANTA IS THE BARON!

  3. My understanding of plot devices has me convinced that this might not actually be Driscols work. Mayhaps he's been framed? But the involvement of Lady Evangelina still lend plenty of evidence for blaming Driscol.