Monday, July 16, 2012

Day Two-Fifty-One: Cresting the apex

This is it, diary. This is the week of the wedding. Come Thursday night, my little Eve is going to be wed to the prince of Castle WeddingBells. And the castle couldn't be more fucked up.

I'm not sure what King Jeffrey envisioned when he set the wedding date. Most likely he pictured a castle FESTOONED with colour: banners everywhere, entertainers performing on every corner of every street, music playing twenty-four five, happy, beaming people enjoying it all… yeah. I bet that's what he pictured.

That isn't what he got. Castle WeddingBells is a shithole, pardon my language. Half the castle is lying in disrepair, thanks to Driscol's attempted invasion, and the workers are openly refusing to fix what's broken. Work ground to a halt almost two weeks ago. The entertainers are lying low, so there's no music or merriment, and the king's decrees have everyone on edge.

Today's decree? Bugs for breakfast. Royal order. Eat up, y'all. And I'm not talking about the yummy ants they serve in the Beefiary, either - you have to eat actual bugs off the ground. Wriggle wriggle wriggle, crunch crunch crunch. Mmmm, how… disgusting. I'm sure people would completely ignore Jeffrey's decrees, were it not for the Omega Corps on the prowl. I swear there are more of the bastards than ever, these days.

Oh, and did I mention the workers are threatening to strike again? Like, yelling it in the streets? That's the replacement for the music. Screaming protestors. Happy, happy times.

Hell, it's even worse than that, I'd say. Robert's openly leading his union troops in protest, and from what I've heard they're actively disrupting services at the castle. Everything's ground to a standstill. Food's not being made, water isn't being drawn out of the wells, the hunters are refusing to leave the castle, even the wedding preparations are on hold. As if they'd gotten far in the first place. It's pandemonium.

All I did today was wander about the castle. Captain Cedric is so busy trying to handle impending riots that he didn't have time to order me around. That's nice, in its own way, but without his demands goofing off isn't half as fun. I might even call it boring. I woulda spent the day with a friend, instead, but Libby's refusing to get out of bed, and Edmund's cloistered with King Jeffrey in his tower.

I really hope, if he gets the chance, that Edmund runs. Let him get the hell outta this kingdom. It's going down fast, and I'd rather he not get hurt in the process. Same goes for Libby, of course, but she can take care of herself. I'm not worried.

After about an hour of watching protestors argue with Captain Cedric (I was hiding in the keep, so I most definitely wasn't involved in the fracas), I wandered to the first bright and shining spot I could think of: the cockroach cupboard. The place where I found out Driscol, and helped The Baron bring an end to his stupid coup.


I wonder if it might not have been such a bad idea after all…

There are no cockroaches, now, regardless of the number of times I tried to activate the trap door. They've all been burnt and cleaned out. That was one of The Baron's last official acts: get rid of the roaches. He secretly told me he did it to make sure Driscol wouldn't have any secrets up his sleeve. Secrets that would… maybe… y'know.

Y'know. Stop this castle from sinking.

Maybe Driscol will come back and save us all, now. Save us from Jeffrey's idiocy. Save him from his penguin overseer, who, it appears, is now running the whole damned kingdom. Never would have thought there'd be someone worse than Jeffrey who could determine castle policy, and now there is.

Gah. Fucking penguin.


I keep thinking about what Prince Logan said…

Somebody wants to thank me… and I don't think it's the penguin… he coulda done it by now… if so, who's really pulling the strings around here…?



Are they waiting for me at the bottom of the hole…?


Dragomir the Guard


  1. You're making me emote. This is not cool. I mean, it is. But, it's not cool.

    1. Your emoting will only get worse as this month draws to a close, trust me.