Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Day Two-Seventy-Eight: Info Dump Pending

King Gok returned to his tower today. There's been no sign of Barrel, and Gok's given up on finding a dragon that can turn into a bug for as long as it damn well pleases. I wish Barrel would come back, 'cause we could sure use a giant serpentine monster as leverage to get us the hell out of here.

I'd been trying to coax Dragomir into writing in you, diary, when Gok stormed into our quarters with several of his guards. He ordered some privacy for us - which merely meant that Edmund, Harold and the nobles were corralled into the great hall for some grub - and began an interrogation.

Didn't get very far past the intro.

"Ah, yes, this is the one." The old bastard seated himself cross-legged on the floor. "Canna mistake 'im. Little less facial hair, but 'e did spend a bit 'o time in our dungeon. One 'o the nurses took a fancy to 'im, I recall. Made a lovely 'lil spectacle… 'til that damned witch broke 'im out."

"And she'll bust 'im out again, if you don't fuck right off!" I bellowed back. "The hell are you still keeping us here for?! Not even the dumbest of those dumb nobles still thinks we're just guests!"

Dragomir stared. Thanks for the support, hubby.

"Information," Gok replied, waving to Dragomir. "Aye, we have te let ye go eventually. June's more or less demanded we be settin' ye free, damn her weird ways, 'n I won't cross one like her. Don't want a perpetual drain on m'resources from ye lazy pale-bags anyway. I still wanna talk te this boy, 'n know what he saw… 'cause from what I hear, he went into the belly 'o that wretched beast of a castle, 'n plainly he lived. I want him te tell his tale 'fore you cart him off te distant lands."

I waved a hand in Dragomir's face, shook him by the shoulders, and slapped him on the cheek. He didn't do anything to stop me. "Does that look like somebody who's gonna tell you a fucking thing? He ain't! He's out for fuckin' lunch, 'n unless you can be more influential than his wife, I doubt you're gonna change that, ya old fart!"

Gok raised his eyebrows and spread his arms. "Ye needn't be so hostile, lass. I didna do that much to ye."

Memories of his 'seduction' came flooding back, ones involving his tongue and my belly button, and only the spears of the guards stopped me from leaping across the room and wringing Gok's veined neck.

We exchanged verbal fire a few more times, but my arguments didn't sway the king. He demanded a chance to talk to Dragomir before we leave, and if we wanted to get out of Goblinoster soon we'd best work on reviving his brain. Witch or no witch, it would happen.

I hate the little bastard, but I have to admit, he's probably a much better king than Jeffrey. Very smart, knows what he's doing, knows how to get what he wants. Makes me fear Gok a little, 'cause I'm not sure that we're much safer here than we were back home… and back home is supposedly inhabited by giant shadowy demon things. They better not have trashed my stuff.

No progress today. Dragomir moves when you make 'im move, swallows when you shove food in his mouth, kisses back a little when you plant one on his lips. (I'm the only one who gets to test that, obviously.) Anything beyond… conversation, problem solving, real intelligence… all gone from him.

Don't got no solutions for this. Only thing I can think up is contacting his mom and getting her to scold him into waking up… 'n I'd rather not do that, 'cause I hate being called a whore to my face. She'd bring that husband of hers, too… too many old perverts in the world…

Ugh. Well, Friday's comin', and Dragomir always says that the big stuff happens on Fridays. Maybe he'll be right this time, too.


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