Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day Three-Twenty-Seven: We're off to see the Pagan, the horrible Pagan of Laws

Man, Barrel is grouchy today. Was yesterday, too. Snubbed Edmund and me most of the way to Pagan's manor, and whenever I called up to him he'd just kinda snort at me and look back at the sky. What's his deal? I'll have to look into it…

Either way, yeah, we're at Pagan's manor. Took us an evening and a morning of travel to get there. Spent an uncomfortable night in the woods, hunkered down in an old bear's den we found in the side of a cliff. With Barrel sleeping outside, stretched out to half his full size, we had no problems keeping the local wildlife out of our hair. Edmund 'n I swapped stories and talked about girls 'til we passed out from fatigue and smoke from the fire. Don't light fires in caves, it's a bad idea.

(I should add that Edmund has been around. He's had a LOT of conquests over the years. Strummed up a song for each of 'em, too! Pretty impressive. Comes with the territory, I guess - women like music. Says he, anyway. My own details were a bit less impressive, since I've had… one… conquest… and it's more like she conquered me…)

Pagan's manor is pretty impressive. You can tell from a single look that it's been standing for a long time in the midst of grain fields, wooden houses and barns, gardens and grazing patches. The manor itself is a large, rough-hewn stone building jutting out of a low rise in the round, two or three storeys high. The façade is covered in little sculptures of a knight fighting various foes. Pagan's servants tell me that they're Pagan himself, illustrations of his battles through the years. Dude's seen a lot of action, if these are all real. 

Sadly, the sculptures comprise the entirety of my exposure to Pagan thus far. Haven't met him, don't know if he's home, and if he is home, I don't even know if he's willing to see me.

We arrived around 2 in the afternoon, edging around a field full of yellowed grass and withering weeds. An old guy with missing teeth and ragged clothes spotted us and shouted an alarm, dashing to a farmhouse for shelter before we could explain the situation.

Minutes later? Guards. Or what passes for guards here, which would be peasants bearing sharpened sticks. They forced an explanation out of us at spearpoint, which was completely unnecessary since I was ready to explain myself regardless. 

"I'm a mayor!" I yelled, the twitch of an unfortunate spasm tugging at my bladder. Self-defence, you know. "I'm a mayor and my name is Dragomir and I'm Dragomir the Mayor! I wanna talk to the dude what owns that thing! It's a nice house! Please let us leave here, by which I mean not here but somewhere else!"

I punctuated this stream of nonsense by pointing wildly over my shoulder. I assume I pointed towards Pubton. I dunno, I was following Barrel. (Who, speaking of which, was GONE by this point. Thanks, dragon.)

The peasants regarded us warily, and a song from Edmund did little to smooth the talks - though it did get some toes tapping. Eventually they must have decided we weren't a threat, because they shepherded us into the main hall of Pagan's manor and locked us into a little room near the entrance. 

The next person to greet us, half an hour later, was Hoban. I thought for sure he'd come with bad news, but he instead told us that Pagan would 'consider' an audience with me. I would have to remain the night, however, as he was currently busy with other matters.  Oooookay.

SO. We're sleeping on the manor's floor tonight, a few bits of bread and a flagon of water each to tide us over. Hoban told us we'll be let out of this room in the morning… assuming Pagan decides that we're not a threat. I hope we aren't, 'cause there are a lot of weird paintings in here, and they're all creepy. Like somebody's watching us.

… that gives me a good idea, actually. You could, like, cut the eyes out of a painting (and all of these paintings have eyes) and LOOK through them. Without anyone on the other side being the wiser! True, you'd need a place filled with secret passages 'n stuff, but who wouldn't want a home with secret passages? Yeah, that's a really good idea. For, y'know, spying on people.

Yeah. Great idea.

Did those eyes just move?


Dragomir the Captured


  1. xD Wizard of Oz reference, love it! I also love Edmund's facial expression at the statue.

    1. Every time I read the title of this entry I get the song stuck in my head. Now, today, I had to fully translate the lyrics into Dragomiric style.

      'Weeeee're off to see the Pagan, the horrible Pagan of Laws,
      We hear he is a bit of a prick, if ever a prick there was,
      If ever, oh ever a prick there was, the Pagan of Laws is one because,
      Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaause
      Because of the horrible things he does!
      Weeeeee're off to see the Pagan, the horrible Pagan of Laws!'

      There. That feels better.