Friday, December 28, 2012

Day Three-Hundred-Sixty: We're back


Drags is not write in I, who is diary, today.

I sees him. I sees Drags. He walks in the white stuff - what is white stuff, I ask? No one answer - and looks the mope. He not look so muches the mope since he was all 'Blondey-blonde slayed me 'cause she loves'. And he was very mopes then. I say, writing, cheer? Yes. Super-defos cheer. But Drags, he will not listen to awesome diary.

Sigh. Drags. So much on mind. People yell, and asking for food, and Drags is all "Go look for another damned goat in the woods, there were two more yesterday". By which Drags is mean bleaters. Oh bleaters, you are so bleat.

Note came today. Drags not looks at it. Tucks inside I, diary. Because diary, you, I, we's like mini library. All things good? In I. Is true. Anys, this what note is read:

'Dragomir,

Leave town now. This is your last warning. Things are on their way. You aren't prepared to stop them. You CAN'T stop them. Pick up your people and leave now.

Lord B.T.'

Drags no look at note. He is all stuffs in me without unfolding. What is things that come? If greens, is bad. If whites… wells, whites here already. If oranges… mmm, oranges. We, you, I, diary, should try oranges some time. Vi-ta-min C. Is what Libbers say. She likes oranges. Libbers is know best, yes, diary? But not as best as you, by which I mean I. 'course. Libbers smart, but not DIARY smart. Silly!

Big man came today. Is maybe why Drags not write in the I, which is you, which is me, diary. Yes. Big man, gruff big man, but not gruff big man who is Ceders. This is dude what is Drags dad. I see resemblance none, but Drags? He says is dad. So is dad.

(What is dad, diary? Is like Drags to diary? Who knows. If diary, which is I, does not know, then no one. No one knows. Diary is awesome enough to know all that is knowed. If you say others, diary, then you? CRAZY. So crazy, diary.)

Dad, he says things. I record. Super spy, is diary, super spy!

"We're goin', Dragomir. We're goin' tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's, uh, Saturday, dad. Where're you going…?"

"Pagan's. We're gonna steal that fuck's food. 'n when we get back, you're gonna step down as mayor. I'm takin' over."

"Gotcha."

"Gotcha?"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Go nuts."

"So, you givin' up, then?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Spineless wuss, I didn't raise you to act like this."

"You didn't…. barely…"

"What's that? Got a beef with me, kid? C'mon, y'danmed momma's boy, be a man for once. Trottin' off on a dragon with Pagan 'n comin' back with good news doesn't make you a man, not in my eyes. Step up and be a fuckin' man."

"…"

"Yeah, what I figured. You said you died, right?"

"Yeah."

"Great to see you learned a lot from the experience. Real lot."

Stomp, stomp, stomp. Offs he goes. Then I watches Drags draw on papery thing - WHY HE DRAW IF HE NOT WRITE, AND WHY HE NOT DRAW IN DIARY? - and he leaves. No draws for diary.

What's he draw?

Blondey-blonde, of course. 

Always is drawing blondey-blonde.













8 comments:

  1. Captain Cedric!

    Best Allofusmas gift ever.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed. ^^
      And he's a zombie with a rogue-ish smile.
      That's like double his normal awesome!

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    2. Oh wait they're one being...
      That's like... Cheap-Chinese-knock-off Cedric...

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    3. Doesn't mean we can't keep his severed, and still insanely manly head around in a jar.

      You know, for the timeskip arc where Dragomayor goes into space to fight geometric shapes and pierce the heavens.

      Delete
  2. Unleash your rage...c'mon man...you've been pushed around and treated like a idiot your whole life, just FLIP SHIT and go into a Berzerker frenzy of flying punches!

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    Replies
    1. God damn...way to sound like Wolverine...

      Delete