Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Day Three-Eighty-Two: Eviction notice



Still no volunteers for my posting in the pub. Libby seemed interested, at first, but now she says she's too busy with June to help me right now. Still won't say why. Gah, blasted women, always keeping secrets.

After thinking it over for a while, I decided to pay the handful of rats left in Pubton a visit. They brought animals here in the first place, and I figured, 'Hey, maybe they have some insights about all the injuries that they won't share with me.' Because that's what rats do. If nothing else I could express my intense dislike of their shenanigans, because I'm sure they have their tiny paws in everything.

The rats weren't to be found in their warrens. The tiny group remains in hiding, despite my entreaties to emerge and talk to me. I suspect they wouldn't have much to say, either - the last time they tried to communicate through you, diary, they got all exhausted and barely made a lick of sense. Commence intense dislike.

"I know you have something to do with this," I began, kicking at the massive roots of the golden tree. "I ain't stupid. Whenever somethin' goes wrong or bad, you've got somethin' to do with it. First those ruins, then Philip, then all the shit at the castle… bringin' those animals here so they could freak out on us… 'n those shadow things, hell, I bet them comin' out here is your fault too. What the hell is out here that they want?"

Silence.

"S'what I thought. Ever since the start you've jerked me around. I dunno why I welcomed you back. Sure, ya saved my life with that… blue… fire… thing… whatever, but if it weren't for you I might not have been stuck in that situation in the first fuckin' place. Coulda lived a nice, normal life 'til Jeffrey got so bad that everyone left - 'n then I coulda left with 'em! This all wouldn't be my problem!"

Silence.

"And another thing!" I stabbed a finger towards the tree, as though it were to blame. "My son! That boy! That fucking boy is psychotic, and I bet that's your doing, too! You're all about that balance crap, 'n so's he! You should see his damned room, everything's all symmetrical! Playing with people… using his… powers… to mess with me… mess with my head… he drove off the shadow fuckers, but who's to say he won't turn on us? 'n what the hell is his weird obsession with my hands?! And what the hell is UP with my hands? You KNOW, DON'T YOU?! ANSWER ME, GODS DAMN IT!"

Silence.

I kicked the tree root again. It ignored me, as trees usually ignore me. I spat on it, admiring the gold glint of the saliva on the shining bark.

"I'm goin' to that stupid mountain, 'n I'm gonna find out what you're hiding from me. 'cause I know something's there. Grayson's 'no dig' crap is clue enough that something's there. And once I find out what it is, I'm sendin' my hunters down here to clear the last of you out. I know you're in here somewhere, you little bastards, 'n this is your notice. You're DONE. I ain't putting up with your shit ANY MORE."

Silence.

I left it at that.

The search continues.

Sincerely,

Dragomir the Mayor

5 comments:

  1. (FINALLY! Dragomir grew a pair! TELL EM OFF! BE A MAN!)

    And what happened then...?
    Well...in Pubton they say
    That the Dragomir's small balls
    Grew three sizes that day!

    (Hehe, hopefully someone get's the reference. Cause I only changed like 3 words XD)

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    Replies
    1. Um... Nope. I give up.

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    2. Grinch who stole Christmas. And I couldn't really make it sound any less...immature...cause...ya'know...Dr.Suess wasn't really known for having stories that you could make crude jokes by changing words. Plus half the time it seemed like he was just naming stuff after the sounds he made when sneezing.

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  2. Again, I am ready and willing to possibly get mauled by a sloth/ discover an unknown animal beating monster.

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  3. Yeah, its Antonia. Definitely Antonia.

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