Friday, March 22, 2013

Day Four-Hundred-Twenty: Yappers yaps

Yappers, Cedders, Bernie, Greasyman and Big'un, they aaaaaaaaall comes to Drags temphomehouse today. He invites! He thinks, he ponders, he invites. BoobyBrowns comes too, so Drags, he no stuck alone.

But wouldn't be alone.



Big'un stays outside. No fit. Wreck temphomehouse, would. Greasyman, Cedders, outside too. Too grumpy. Bernie, sad Bernie, he comes in with the Yappers. And oh! Oh, my diary! Does he YAPS.

"So this is the patient, eh? Pretty young thing, pretty, sir… is she your daughter, perchance? If she is, I can see the resemblance, yes, sir, yes!"

"Yeah, she's my daughter. Can you do anything for her?"

"Well, sir, that depends, that solely depends on an examination, a short, quick, easy, thorough examination. May I, please? Eheh?"

"Bora? Whaddya think?"

"… let him. It'll be fine."

"… go ahead."

"Thank you, thank you! Ah, excuse me, I am a bit short, I need to jump up, here… ahh, yes… heart, beating… pulse, excellent, excellent… chest feels a bit shallow, if I say so… slightly malnourished, but not bad, not bad… slightly muscular… breathing normally… fine hair, sir, fine indeed, this would fetch quite a price back home, we don't have many blondes in the desert -"

"C'mon, get on with it."

"Ahh, yes, sir, apologies, most sincerely… I get worked up sometimes… Dog Three! Fetch me my kit!"

(Bernie, all quiet and sighs, goes outsides. Gets package thinger. Brings. Did Bernies always have one arm? Diary, I thinks, is no.)

"Let's see, we'll test the reflexes… ah, there, a little delayed, but not bad… pupils dilating under light, that's good… one thump there, two thumps there, three, four… yes, yes, she looks to be normal."

"Then why's she in a freaking coma?"

"It's in here, sir, I suspect. All in the head. The open eyes, they give her away to me. Her brain is working, but it's thinking deeply about something. Time and study, sir, that's all I can offer as suggestions. Though if you would be willing, I could perform a slightly more invasive procedure, as that may uncover -"

"Nothing invasive."

"Ma'am? I don't believe this is your call to -"


"… I'll go with what she says on this."

"Very well, sir, very well. At any rate, if you don't mind, I'd like to stick around at least a few days and continue to examine the patient, ehe. Perhaps I can discover something I missed today, eh, yes?"

"Free country. And it can't hurt. I, ah, have to go use the washroom next door… Bora, could you…?"

"Sure. Go ahead, Dragomir."


(Drags leaves. I, diary, on shelf. I watch. I record. SO totals tell Drags all of the what they say.)

"What are you doing here, Emmett?"

"My, he's barely clear of the house. Surprisingly bold of you, Lito, surprisingly. And I could ask you the same thing, couldn't I just? Considering I just saw you a few days ago. Though your form back in the capitol was, ah, slightly less pleasant than this."

"Answer the question, you yappy prig."

"Frisky! Ever frisky. Your time in the normal world turned you rather acerbic, I see. The Baron sent me to check up on this little girl. He is quite perplexed, yes, QUITE perplexed, as to why she is here… when she should be there. Do you have anything to say about that, Litobora the Many?"

"Nothing. Nothing to you, vermin."

"You, of all people, calling me vermin! I don't have pieces of myself sitting inside the stomachs of moat monsters. Spiders and gators and all manner of freaks. The Baron is beginning to wonder if you are still on his side… or if you defer more to his brother. That would be most unfortunate, considering what I've heard of the man's goals. Or lack thereof."

"I'm a free agent. I do what I please. The Baron knew that when he called me in. Hasn't changed. If he has questions, he can talk to the parts of me in the capitol."

"Ahh, but what if he wants to talk to the real thing? You've spread yourself around so much that it's difficult to get a bead on your identity. Of course, I wouldn't expect anyone who dresses like that to do anything other than spread -"

(BoobyBrowns looks ready to eats Yappers. But Drags back, clomp clomp, and they shuts up.)

"Sorry 'bout that. Uh, okay, that'll be all, I guess, doc. Is Doc okay?"

"It is! I doubt you could pronounce my full name, dear boy, dear sir, it is rather long. We desert folk like our lengthy monikers. So many vowels! If you will excuse me, we shall return to our tent for the evening and better set up shop. I would like to properly advertise my services to the people of your fair city by Monday, indeed I would. Farewell, farewell!"

(Offs they skitters. Poor Bernie, his green, so sad.)

"Ah. Glad he's gone. Kinda gives me the creeps."

"Me too. Weird guy."

"Did he say anything while I was away?"

"Mmm, not really. Kept… talking about her hair…"

"Egh. I'll have to watch him when he's 'round Eve… or you can do it for me. If you don't mind."

"Of course not. I'll watch her like she was my own child."

"Thanks, Bora."

(Ewww, Drags, squeeze nots the hand ofs the BoobyBrowns. You knows not what she be. Hurry ups and reads the diary, I tell ALL!)




  1. Gotta say that I find the quick-witted excuses and stories by the short guy to be quite entertaining. But I REALLY like seeing Bora getting a bit more backstory/personality to her character (Since now we can see that she's mostly independent and not entirely working for the Baron).

    Though as a usual side-note:

    LIBBY + BORA + EVE + (Former) QUEEN DAENA + EVANGELINA = Unstoppable army of pure Fem-power!

    C'mon Matt! That's how the series has to end! All the powerful female characters team-up and take-on everyone themselves! XD

  2. What/Who is Bora? I'm so incredibly confused. Should I be trusting her or not? I'm back to where I was before Robert died. I didn't dislike her, but I still was unsure about her. I guess even I can be hypnotized by boobs. Or maybe I'm more of a compassionate fool than I let on.

    1. There were a few subtle hints (Outside of "MindlessWalkAbout" and "AFK: Away From Kingdom" side-stories Matt has written). Such as once or twice she was drawn with the 'Green' eyes, and a few minor references to the Messenger for the Baron.

    2. That's what happens when I read this during class. I miss things like this.

  3. Took long enough...
    You've had Bora set up for a while.